The uncomfortable truth

sunamakeup Temmuz 24, 2022

He still isn't finished but I'm done painting Guilliman. It took me the best part of 3 weeks to get this far and I just don't want to do any more. I originally painted him with silver trim and gold pauldrons and hated it. A fellow gamer commented that he looked like Alpharius which was the final nail in the coffin and so I more or less started over. A bit like eating a cup of snot and then being told to finish off the bucket. Roboute was an experiment anyway and now that the test is over I might not take him in my lists again.

I am Alpharius!!!

After placing last at Call To Arms, I needed to improve my gaming skills. Its very hard to retain your sense of humour when you've just been tabled three times in a row. Playing more games, poring over forums and researching other codexes was out of the question because I am lazy. Enter the Guilliman.

I knew I wasn't a particularly good player. The evidence is overwhelming. But I secretly believed that it wasn't my fault. I was gimped by playing a sub standard army. Yes, that was the problem! Tyranids just don't gel like other armies. For every advantage they get, there seems to be down side. Swarmy is a character! He has 12 wounds so no point in being a character. Tervigon has endless gaunts! They blow up when she dies. Synapse makes them fearless! Lose Synapse and your game stops being fun real quick.

Then I got smashed to smithereens playing Space Marines. But that wasn't my fault either! I was playing with the starter set which wasn't exactly optimal. Or was it? Maybe I was deluding myself. I sat down and had a long, hard think. What if... and this was a dangerous thought... what if I took a strong army to a tournament? What if I took some foul smelling cheese? Something so eye-wateringly pungent that it made my dad's feet smell like potpourri? It wouldn't take much. I could just retrofit the Whirlwind as a Razorback, drop the dead-weight Inceptors and unreliable Hellblasters and take Guilliman instead of a Captain. That list is righteously noisome. If I faced myself in some alternate universe playing this list, I would think I was a right wanker.

So I did it. I didn't play many practice games (erm.. one) but I took the strongest list I could think of (models allowing) and tried my hardest to win every match. Maybe playing games isn't just a way of relaxing after all. They allow us to explore the less savoury side of our personality in a safe manner. I'm frightened of failure and should get over myself and my insecurity issues. I finally had no excuses and got to see just how good I was. I came 14th (mid-table obscurity) and I don't think I'm uspet (still processing). No one pointed at me and called me a twat (not to my face) and now I've set the bar. If I can achieve 13th place with a Tyranid list then I can be proud! On the other hand I could have ruined everything because I've discovered that I like playing herohammer and watching Papa Smurf tanking an entire army. Not sure and time will tell.