Bow before me, Ming the Merciless, and bend your worthless selves to my will or I will blot out the sun tomorrow at 11 am!
I require all governments of the earth to surrender unconditionally to me and evacuate and cede the following territories to me for my Imperial dominions: New Zealand, Kuai, The Isle of Man, Switzerland, Panama and Baffin Island.
All of the following territories are to be evacuated for use as waste storage sites and all residents are report to the nearest Dominio's Pizza, Foot Locker, Walmart or Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet for induction into my global army of slaves: Texas, Alberta, Australia, Mongolia, Portugal and the Vatican. All national treasuries are to be forfeit to my personal coffers.
Also, two chili dogs with extra onions and jalapenoes, some onion rings (the good ones, not those crappy minced onion ones they sell at Burger King) and a diet coke Big Gulp. One gets a bit peckish ruling over the known galaxy with an iron fist.
Pathetic fools, do not test the patience of Ming!
You have until 10 am tomorrow to comply or feel my icy wrath as I blot out your sun!
Disobey me at your peril puny earthlings! I am Ming the Merciless and I am your master! You will worship me as a god or I shall take away the sun!
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